Memories of what I used to have fill my mental matter, as I long for what's to come. Maybe I keep myself busy, by counting the mistakes that have turned into blessings. Perhaps, I consider the times my smile was a transformation out of depression. I believe, then, that I will not wait for long. I'm smiling again, just thinking about it. Maybe everything that glitters isn't gold, but everything that rumbles isn't danger, either. That's how I learned balance. Now the ground that opens up isn't for me to fall into, no. I realize that it is for me to watch growth from the Earth; growth that will take me to higher plains. I guess that abyss of fear really was a well of infinite possibilities, this whole time. Just because I can't see but so far doesn't make knowing impossible. There is a reason I know now what I could not understand before. Time. How can I receive that which I am not (yet) capable of holding? Yet. Does that mean I have never really been without? That, maybe...just maybe, I have always been provided what I needed to do what I needed to do to get ready for what comes next? Then, I'm not wanting...right? I'm living and learning, growing and knowing which way is the way for me.
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Donnell E. Smith