To date, it has been 6 years, 3 months, 3 weeks and 5 days since I moved to New York; and as it closes in on the week leading up to my Personal New Year (birthday), I have found myself in a space of deep introspection. I have constantly been thinking about the course of my journey - which I would not trade in for the world - yet, also wondering how different it might have been if certain vital steps and opportunities were missed. There have been many a day when I would kick myself for not being where I feel I should have been - and honestly, from time to time, I still do. I have complained about things and circumstances, yet always find myself right back to a space of Gratitude and Humbleness. Those moments are my reminders that I am right where I am supposed to be.
Today, I sat in a cafe and journal-ranted about all of the elements that I felt were working against me, or seemingly holding me back. In the midst of that rant, I began to recognize the solutions/remedies for those same complaints. Literally, for every complaint I spoke of and listed, there were one or two solutions I was able to clearly see that would combat that thought process and challenge myself to turn them into opportunities. I realized that I was beginning to allow myself to get so distracted by the elements I wanted to see changes in, that I nearly missed the open door to those very changes. Mahatma Gandhi was right: Be the change you want to see.
Being present does not necessarily mean having all the answers. Rather, it means acknowledging where you are, what you feel and where the opportunities to modify and improve lie. It's all there, really. I am learning, every day, how to live in the now and how to see the light in every waking situation, step by step. Of course it is not always easy, but very much worth the effort, in the long run. Yea, I'm still figuring it out. Until soon...
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Donnell E. Smith