Recently, in my reflection on my time in New York and the journey I have been on since leaving Atlanta - where I moved to from Baltimore, in 2007 - I find myself slipping into nostalgia over ATL.  While I have experienced so much more than I thought I would during my time here in NYC, I just can't seem to get past the essential necessities that are slightly more challenging to come by, here:

1. Space - For me, it took a long time to acclimate to the differences between housing here and in Atlanta. Yes, I know there are places which exist with the kind of "ideal" spacing, but when it comes to accessibility, *sighs* let's just say it's been a long time coming. In Atlanta, I always had my own place, whereas here, I made the knowing sacrifice that it would take some time to get back to that. I'm still counting...
2. Privacy - Speaking of having my own, one thing I have to be honest about it that: I was meant to live alone. I never realized how much I deeply valued my privacy until having gone through some of the most awkward rooming situatioins to my current experience. Don't get me wrong, I gots crazy love for my two current roommates - and am glad for the space that we do have - but before them, it was quite the obstacle course.  I still long for the type of privacy I used to have in Atlanta. Being on the watch for who might be walking through the front door at any given time can be exhausting...hey, I'm just being honest.
3. Cost of Living - As obvious as this one is, it still bears the need for reiteration. It's just entirely too expensive here.  My question is "WHY?" Let's really get down to it, why does it really cost so much to live in one of the greatest cities in the world...? Ok, perhaps I just answered my own question, but come on!!  I got over paying for the hype of living in New York after my first year, and let's be honest, it is all for the hype.  Yes, I am thrilled I made it for 5 1/2 years, but uhh-ruhh, a brotha is ready to call it an experience and seek other soil to garden.  By no means is it contingent upon my career, because I can work wherever I go; I am my office, product and billboard. I just don't beleve I have to spend so much in so many ways just to "make it," no? Help me out somebody...

I dare not pretend those are the only factors that caused my need for evaluation; nor will I neglect the many perks of living in NY.  Though I started my acting in Atlanta, it was NY that really provided the platform it did for me to really know if this was something I had in me to do and pursue, resiliently.  I guess I passed, hahaha.  Having built a pretty modest and noteworthy reputation in my field, it always feels good to know that wherever I go, Industry loves an Actor with that New York stank on them.  We put in WORK to bring our dreams and career goals to life. And that's how that goes!

All that to say that I am glad I had the opportunity to come to New York to not only pursue a career in acting, but to see the fruits of that vision and labor manifest the way that it has.  Still, I know in my heart of hearts that NYC isn't my final destination for dwelling.  While I am patiently listening for my instincts to guide me to the next platform, I do my best not to worry too much about the woes of living in a big city, but to focus on my mission.  Everything else will take care of itself, so long as I continue putting forth the diligence and persistence this Industry requires.  So New York, I'm here.

#SmithDonnellE #OnMyMind #NYLiving

Ever amazed by the numerous ways the Universe lays the path ahead ablaze. And as I lie in bed, sleepy but reflecting on yesterday instead, the things I said, I cannot help but imagine my fully actualized self. My doubts on the shelf, they'll be fine without my attention or time. I'm getting on, I got bigger fish to fry.

Somebody tell me oh how did we ever get back to the moment of anguish and torment for reasons believed to be so unimportant and cause an injustice and hate against just us, when we were the influx that enhanced this ufcked up and morbidly corrupt land? Then diminished our standards, as history had it, us strung up like lanyards so all of the others could feel like they mattered. Yup, here in a nation that burned information from documentation written and published for our education, a peculiar situation. All this erasing and blatant defacing of heritage tracing, yet look down on us like we caused the aching. Come again? I think it's time to draw the line, we've seen the signs, so yes, now's the TIME...

This last month and a half has been quite... interesting, to say the least.  As a matter of fact, this entire year has been one to truly go into the books as the most transitional.  With "Diversity" being The Industry's theme, major strides made in our nation - before the obvious shift in events - and, for me, a very flagrant mix of occurrences, feelings and ideas, I believe it is safe to say that we ALL have been going through it.  And through it all, we have been brought closer to a greater understanding of what we value.

Without dwelling too heavily on it, or making light of the matter regarding the current and swiftly shifting state of the nation, I have decided to place more intense focus on my creative tools and personal power to face politcal and social waves, rather than allowing the inevidible thought of it all to crumble my vision and journey.  I choose to recognize the power of Art and how I and my fellow Creatives have the enormous ability to impact a People.  Our bodies, our words, our minds, our intentions and convcitions are what brings millions of people to the movies, the theatre, concerts, recitals, on & on & on... So who am I to allow any degree of worry or fear to occupy the very space that can be fueled with inspriation, with purpose, with the power to contribute to the Greater Effort? I do not fear change, but rather embrace the opportunity to prove the power of Light over darkness. Until soon...

#SmithDonnellE #OnMyMind #change #UnapologeticallyMe #purpose #change #power #Art