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11:06am I'm at the Equity building, waiting to be seen for two auditions: "Tribe" and "The Fabulous Stories of Hollywood Whores." I am #24 for the former, and #13 for the latter. Though I'm not really pressed for time, I was hoping to get one or both over with before heading to the 45th Street Theatre. We have to meet at about 1:45 for their audition and I figured I'd try to head to the [Drama Bookshop] afterwards. Then, at 6:30/7 is a soiree given by one of my contacts. I know this seems like a lot, but it's really not. I actually would prefer it to be that way. Full. Productive. Consistent. At some point today, I'd like to get these videos for the Spain trip done. It literally will only take 5-min each, so there is no reason I can't get them done and submitted. I am really excited about [the possibility of] that trip. It'll be nice to get away from the country for a few weeks. I think I'll head to the Drama [Bookshop] and look through Backstage, and maybe read a play before heading to 45th St. No need in [being idle] if there are other activities to be done. AT the point of this entry, I had been living in New York for about five months and two days. Already, I fell into the rhythm of packing my days with to-do's, leaving little to no room for rest. While it developed into a strong work ethic - that which still holds, to this day - I would eventually run myself to the point of exhaustion, twice, which would learn me to listen my body and treat it with the utmost care.
Nowadays, I am very conscious about the amount of time I spend working and creating, as well as prioritizing time for meditation, rest, nourishment and sleep. I am no longer living in the illusion of competition. Instead, I am giving in to the passion of my Journey and am pursuing my desires with great intent, clarity and purpose. That, in and of itself, is what keeps me going. Oh, I didn't book that Spain gig, after all; but it was certainly worth the effort. It eventually led me to other travel/work opportunities, down the line. I'm excited to see what else comes up, looking through more journal entries. Until soon... #SmithDonnellE #OnMyMind #blogspot #journals #reflections #nyc
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ON the morning of June 23, 2014, I woke up, having slept in for a couple of hours. I cannot remember if I went right into my morning meditation or stalled for a bit, but I do recall my phone being on silent. Eventually, I checked my phone, noticing that there were a handful of missed calls - more than what seemed "normal." Then I noticed text messages, Facebook notifications, all wondering where I was, if I was alive and okay...say what? I then noticed a link attached to one of the messages. It turned out that a Donnell Smith had been shot and killed at a house party in Brownsville, BK, the night before. That shook me to the marrow. What are the odds? I had been living in Bushwick then, which was close enough to home, but the fact that the guy had the same name took me somewhere, mentally. I did a check-in on my life, and wrote this: It Could Have Been Me 6-23-14 It could have been me Showered by metal rain Poured from clouds of rage Anger, jealousy, envy Or sheer miscommunication of the underaged Could have been me Laid, bathed In the blood of my own flesh I was lucky, I guess Or warned Better cherish life today For tomorrow other plans may be underway It could have been me Departed without reason Gone for endless seasons Words unsaid Sentiments in my head As I lie in bed I was sleep, but I woke up This time Hold me now I don't want to go Not knowing if you know What you mean to me How your Love affects me How my Love yearns for you Until they take me away I am here. And I'll tell you every day Deeply, passionately so I need you to know I love you, I Love you  ("Prayer" from Jprwpics, on flickr.com) #SmithDonnellE #OnMyMind #blogspot #Prayer
In full awareness of Women's History Month, I am inspired to kick my first blog of the month off with a poem that I wrote for a Female public figure, who I always looked up to, growing up. She was known as America's favorite Mom, for many years; but I liked to think of her as Auntie (no Mom outdoes my Mom). In 2012, I had the immense and humbling honor of experiencing three intersecting dreams of mine, all at once: (1) I got to meet this incredible Woman; (2) I got to work with this incredible Woman - She was Director, on the project I worked with Her; (3) said project was one of my favorite plays, A Raisin in the Sun. During this process, I was able to witness, first-hand, Her brilliance, magnificence, passion and humbleness. So, for Her, I wrote this: O' That Woman She visually whispers accolades to my ambitions Welcomes my presence as a rite of passage Into a new world, excitingly divine Close enough to touch But too precious to handle with human hands Ah, she...she smiles upon my intentions Nodding approvingly that I have fulfilled my purpose Or at the very least captured the essence of such a goal She speaks miracles and revelations to the village And send them on with her blessing, her peace Her...piece of experience at which millions have witnessed And thousands seek to attain She is the water that is fluid, soft Strong May I be all that she knows I can be And more than I perceived in me And from this day, I know it won't be long I have reached the start of an escalation to the dream Made to bear its fruit and nourish my longings Today, she has already kept me Already known me Already given me exactly what I had All along Thank You, [Gift of Dawn] #SmithDonnellE #OnMyMind #WomensHistoryMonth #ThankYou
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AuthorDonnell E. Smith Archives
March 2020
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