DONNELL E. SMITH
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Looking back: 11.28.2011

3/18/2018

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11:06am

I'm at the Equity building, waiting to be seen for two auditions: "Tribe" and "The Fabulous Stories of Hollywood Whores." I am #24 for the former, and #13 for the latter. Though I'm not really pressed for time, I was hoping to get one or both over with before heading to the 45th Street Theatre. We have to meet at about 1:45 for their audition and I figured I'd try to head to the [Drama Bookshop] afterwards. Then, at 6:30/7 is a soiree given by one of my contacts. I know this seems like a lot, but it's really not. I actually would prefer it to be that way. Full. Productive. Consistent.

At some point today, I'd like to get these videos for the Spain trip done. It literally will only take 5-min each, so there is no reason I can't get them done and submitted. I am really excited about [the possibility of] that trip. It'll be nice to get away from the country for a few weeks.

I think I'll head to the Drama [Bookshop] and look through Backstage, and maybe read a play before heading to 45th St. No need in [being idle] if there are other activities to be done.
AT the point of this entry, I had been living in New York for about five months and two days. Already, I fell into the rhythm of packing my days with to-do's, leaving little to no room for rest. While it developed into a strong work ethic - that which still holds, to this day - I would eventually run myself to the point of exhaustion, twice, which would learn me to listen my body and treat it with the utmost care.

Nowadays, I am very conscious about the amount of time I spend working and creating, as well as prioritizing time for meditation, rest, nourishment and sleep. I am no longer living in the illusion of competition. Instead, I am giving in to the passion of my Journey and am pursuing my desires with great intent, clarity and purpose. That, in and of itself, is what keeps me going.  Oh, I didn't book that Spain gig, after all; but it was certainly worth the effort. It eventually led me to other travel/work opportunities, down the line. I'm excited to see what else comes up, looking through more journal entries. Until soon...

#SmithDonnellE #OnMyMind #blogspot #journals #reflections #nyc
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6-23-14

3/6/2018

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ON the morning of June 23, 2014, I woke up, having slept in for a couple of hours. I cannot remember if I went right into my morning meditation or stalled for a bit, but I do recall my phone being on silent. Eventually, I checked my phone, noticing that there were a handful of missed calls - more than what seemed "normal." Then I noticed text messages, Facebook notifications, all wondering where I was, if I was alive and okay...say what? I then noticed a link attached to one of the messages. It turned out that a Donnell Smith had been shot and killed at a house party in Brownsville, BK, the night before. That shook me to the marrow. What are the odds? I had been living in Bushwick then, which was close enough to home, but the fact that the guy had the same name took me somewhere, mentally. I did a check-in on my life, and wrote this:
It Could Have Been Me
6-23-14


It could have been me
Showered by metal rain
Poured from clouds of rage
Anger, jealousy, envy
Or sheer miscommunication
of the underaged
Could have been me
Laid, bathed
In the blood
of my own flesh
I was lucky, I guess
Or warned
Better cherish life today
For tomorrow
other plans may be underway
It could have been me
Departed without reason
Gone for endless seasons
Words unsaid
Sentiments in my head
As I lie in bed
I was sleep, but I woke up
This time
Hold me now
I don't want to go
Not knowing if you know
What you mean to me
How your Love affects me
How my Love yearns for you
Until they take me away
I am here.
And I'll tell you every day
Deeply, passionately so
I need you to know
I love you, I Love you
Picture
("Prayer" from Jprwpics, on flickr.com)
#SmithDonnellE #OnMyMind #blogspot #Prayer
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marching on

3/1/2018

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In full awareness of Women's History Month, I am inspired to kick my first blog of the month off with a poem that I wrote for a Female public figure, who I always looked up to, growing up. She was known as America's favorite Mom, for many years; but I liked to think of her as Auntie (no Mom outdoes my Mom). In 2012, I had the immense and humbling honor of experiencing three intersecting dreams of mine, all at once: (1) I got to meet this incredible Woman; (2) I got to work with this incredible Woman - She was Director, on the project I worked with Her; (3) said project was one of my favorite plays, A Raisin in the Sun. During this process, I was able to witness, first-hand, Her brilliance, magnificence, passion and humbleness. So, for Her, I wrote this:
O' That Woman
She visually whispers accolades
to my ambitions
Welcomes my presence
as a rite of passage
Into a new world, excitingly divine
Close enough to touch
But too precious to handle
with human hands
Ah, she...she smiles upon my intentions
Nodding approvingly that I have
fulfilled my purpose
Or at the very least captured
the essence of such a goal
She speaks miracles and revelations
to the village
And send them on
with her blessing, her peace
Her...piece of experience at which
millions have witnessed
And thousands seek to attain
She is the water that is fluid, soft
Strong
May I be all that she knows I can be
And more than I perceived in me
And from this day, I know it won't be long
I have reached the start
of an escalation to the dream
Made to bear its fruit
and nourish my longings
Today, she has already kept me
Already known me
Already given me exactly what I had
All along
Thank You, [Gift of Dawn]
#SmithDonnellE #OnMyMind #WomensHistoryMonth #ThankYou
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