AT THE TOP of November last year, I sat in front of my computer screen, much like I am now, contemplating my relationship to Social Media and the digital world as a whole. Why am on it? Is it really adding anything to my life? What would happen if I... Yup, I deleted my accounts. Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, all tossed in a can and lit with a proverbial match to watch it all burn to [electrons?]. Admittedly, a part of me wondered if it was the right move. But, even before the end of the 30-day "just in case you change your mind" holding period that each platform graced before "deleting" my profiles - we all know nothing really dies in the digital world - I was done. No remorse, no residual attachments to any of the posts, likes or followers. It was all now behind me. I was free! ...until a week and a half ago.

Just before the end of 2021, I acquired new Management here in L.A.; not bad for someone living here for seven, right? They were excited, I was excited, they were ready, I was ready, and then HAPPY NEW YEAR! A somewhat sobering entry into 2022, considering we had lost dear Betty White to the ancestral plane, but I digress. There I was, gearing up for my first full Pilot season as an L.A. resident, when a text with the big question came crashing into my world like an avalanche: "What are your Social Media handles?" *mouth. drops.* My Social Media handles?? I thought I was past that? I felt like Ralphie from A Christmas Story, when he asked for that Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle, and Santa said, "you'll shoot your eye out, kid..." I leveled up, like Ciara sang. I didn't need Social Media, Social Media needed ME! Okay, I didn't actually say that, but I was thinking it. After I cooly replied "oh, that? I haven't been on the medias since November," like I were newly enlightened after some 12-year pilgrimage through the Amazon - in South America, not the digital store - I was met with a bit of (professional) discernment. Suffice it to say, my sabbatical had officially ended and it was "highly advised" that I rejoin the fold. And so, here I am. Sooo... Follow me! Thanks.

In a moment of stillness, my mind went back to my childhood. In mere moments it was as if twelve years of my life were spread across a large canvas, in a collage of images and moving memories. I conjured all of the ones that viscerally connects to my creativity. Since most, if not all, of my biggest influences come from what my parents and grandparents indulged in, it is no wonder why I grew up an "old man." Specifically, my maternal grandmother is the greatest reason I can sink into a black & white film without an ounce of hesitation. She is the reason I appreciate Black films the way I do. She is the reason I can wrap myself in Mahalia and Louis Armstrong like I were at every live performance. She is very much connected to my Legacy manifesting. Two of the films I absolutely loved to watch with her were Cabin in the Sky and A Raisin in the Sun. Those reading this who know me might say, "of course, because you're an [Actor]," but may it be known that I had no idea, nor interest, of any possibility of becoming an Actor, then. It simply was not a thought until later in my adult life.

Ah, the many times I watched those two films. Cabin in the Sky was a joy to watch and sing along with - yea, song after song, word for word - but it was A Raisin in the Sun that ignited something in me that I would not quite be able to articulate, until that later point in my adult life. It was visceral. It was passion-driven. It was cathartic. At the time, I knew nothing about what it meant to be a 35-year old black man navigating the streets of Chicago, holding tight to a crumbling dream - I had never even been to Chicago - but I remember thinking, "that man is going to pop a blood vessel if he don't achieve it." To say that I was moved by Sidney Poitier's performance would be a debilitating understatement. I was changed. His Walter Lee Younger was the first I had ever seen, a performance that affected me so much that every other film I saw Mr. Poitier in, I would hope he had not lost anymore money to a gamble - though he very much had - and that he eventually came around to appreciating eggs. Every time, he was even better than the previous time. Every time, my posture corrected, my head lifted a litter higher, I grew taller.

When I heard news of Mr. Poitier's transitioning, there was a hush in my spirit. A physical void had temporarily appeared, as if he were the favorite Uncle I got to see every year, who was now no more of this earthly plane. I was as speechless as I was when I first witnessed Walter Lee; only this time, I was hurting more than he was when he lost that money. I lost a mentor he didn't even know he was teaching all these years. Then, I pulled up an image of him and, in that very moment, my back straightened and I grew again. In that moment I was reminded of every lesson I did not know I learned from him - from child, to man, to Actor. He unknowingly contributed to why I became the Artist I am today. The Legacy he curated during his life taught me that no matter what came my way, I had the power to maintain my Self and my integrity, proving to rise above and be better than my circumstances. Only now am I able to fully articulate this, because his spirit filled the physical void with a knowing that can no longer be denied. Thank you, Sir Sidney Poitier, for Being and for paving a way for regular Black boys to be extraordinary Black men. I won't let you down.

(Written at 37,000ft altitude.)

It's cool being up here, above where the clouds usually settle on any given day. It feels like a version of Home that I know is only temporary; at least in my present physical capacity. Still, I very much enjoy the view. Here, I am more in touch with Gratitude. A [Gratitude] that is sometimes easy to forget when one is on the ground level, bombarded by matters and circumstances that would otherwise have far less meaning from this vantage point, on high. I will do well to keep this in mind when I rejoin the others. Somehow, I tend to find myself wrapped in the distractions of other energies, like a manufactured product you know isn't good for you, but has a certain immediate convenience, which excuses trading what's whole and pure for what's defective - truth for comforting lies. Maybe it's just me.

The window seat puts into perspective how small we really are; how minuscule our first world issues are, in the grand scheme of this massive planet, and the universe at large. I am reminded of just how perfectly and divinely aligned everything in existence is. And then there is us: the humans, going against the grain in every way imaginable, with the audacity to think that we can actually battle Earth. Ha! If only we really knew...

     Okay...look... I know it's been awhile. I know that it's been a very long while, it's true. If you happen to stumble upon this particular blog, then allow me to explain, through this new release? I've been thinking, reshaping, recalibrating and clearing some things out, to make room for this very moment. Take a listen? Pass it on? Spread and the word and send me a word letting me know what you thought. I'll be better about checking in, okay? I have space and time now. Until soon again...

I'm sitting in my housing unit, in Minneapolis, sorting out the basket of events that have occurred, in just the last 48hrs. From Broadway officially shutting down in New York, to waking up to an official notice that remaining performances of The Bacchae - all production at the Guthrie Theater - have been cancelled, all due to the progression of the COVID-19 pandemic, life has taken a surrealistic turn. Until very shortly ago, my mind has been aflutter, for lack of a better description. While I am still sad that our performances are no more, that is only a slither of the sadness I feel.

During this week, my mind has been mostly on the world, but especially our nation. With the lack of preparation and information on the part of our current administration, I think about:

• those who work multiple jobs just to make ends meet;
• those who can barely support themselves;
• those who can't afford to miss work;
• those without insurance, or insurance they can't afford;
• those who have families to support;
• Artists & Freelancers;

any and every combination, and everything in between. What about them? These folks are the very backbone of society, the ones who truly drive the economy. Rich folk are nothing without the very people who help keep them so. And in this time of uncertainty, I cannot help but to wonder what happens to that backbone...to us. COVID-19 only makes the burden navigation that much heavier. This is truly the beginning of a dismantling structure, yet the rise of a true sense of democracy and harmony. This is a return of the piece of history we learned about in school and thought was the distant past; it has now returned to the near future.

What are we going to do differently? My take? Instead of spending time worrying, or pointing the finger - more especially wasting time stocking up on materialistic things, for what??? - this is where we rise to the occasion and step into the new. I don't mean to get all revolutionary, but this very pandemic is further revealing more of the systems that no longer serve or support us as a People, and we cannot not readily rely on "the powers the be," because they be people just like us. At the end of the day, we are all human beings who are, at the foundation, equally at risk. "Power," "Status," and "Money" truly have less significance than we like to believe, now. We are being called to be smarter than that, and to truly be a part of the conversation of harmonic solutions. But that's just me, and I'm only one of millions. Something needs to be done, though, before we cycle back into the same old lessons we should have learned generations ago. Until soon...

​#SmithDonnellE #OnMyMind #blogspot #ExaminingPieces

A week and a half ago, I embarked on a journey through the world of a play that I fell in love with, at first read. Though the conversations leading up to the day rehearsals started were concerning - causing me to question the whole prospect - I still felt a deeply great sense of pride, honor and joy in being able to be a part of such a profoundly written story. Day one, there was instant chemistry with my cast mates - how often does that happen? I have never bonded so much, so fast with a cast I just met for the first time, before. Since then, we have been nearly inseparable. I couldn't be more grateful for that.

Experiences like this show me that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. They are assurances that let me know that when I listen to my heart, follow my intuition and walk in Love, all that I desire aligns perfectly with all that I am meant to do. I am living in my Purpose. That and the help of the current mediation journey with Oprah and Deepak Chopra has immensely informed how I navigate my day-to-day and how to maintain a sense of peace and grounding in the work that I do as an Actor, in this particular process. More reasons to be grateful.

As we continue through the rehearsal process, the word "Preparation" keeps resounding within me. More than just going over my lines, or doing my historical research, Preparation embodies the mind, body and spirit. My mental, emotional and ethereal self has to be aligned with this physical body, in order for me to effectively carry out the work that is being asked of me. And more often than not, my prep-work begins the night before, not from the time I wake up. A partner to Preparation: Self-Care. Rest, meditation, exercise, vocal warm-ups, nourishment and openness all connect to each other and inform how I operate in the rehearsal room, and beyond. They are the very reasons I acknowledge that what I do is more than a career; it is a lifestyle. I look forward to what discoveries I will continue to make, over the course of this production.

#OnMyMind #blogspot #CultureForOne #LittleBigMatters